As the awards night for the 9th Annual Walpole High School Film Festival draws nearer, questions fill the air at WHS: Who will win Best Picture? Will Ryan Gosling actually come this year? Who’s going to make the most awkward acceptance speech? All of these questions and more have yet to be answered– but answers will come. One question, however, may not be answered on Thursday– who is Ruby Heckler?
Last year, the character named Ruby Heckler emerged. He (she… it?) posted mysterious and somewhat inflammatory comments on the 2010 Film Festival blogs. These posts were reminiscent of the famed Zodiac Killer, in that they contained cryptic limericks, number clues, and anagrams that hinted at the mad genius’s identity– and next victim. All of these posts intrigued and confused the hapless bloggers and caused a furor among the film crews, who all scrambled to figure out who Ruby Heckler was before the 2010 Film Festival, when Ruby would reveal his (her… its?) identity. But no one ever figured who Ruby was, and the revelation never came. Ruby remained a mystery. Then, the summer came. Ruby went dormant.
Then, on Thursday, May 4th, Ruby made a triumphant return, with ludicrous predictions for this year’s festival– predictions which described “Texting the Limits” as “a movie about girls being in love with Casey [McGuill]” and said that senior John Montagno was the only option for Best Supporting Actor. The furor instantly began again: Mr. Alan began accusing every past, present, and future film students of being Ruby; 2010 graduate Nick Piccirrilli began writing hypotheses. The Rebellion absolutely needed to get involved.
The investigation began with a search of old blog posts for any existing clues. As soon as the search was underway, however, a problem arose: the majority of the old blog posts had been inexplicably deleted from the website. And, when a Rebellion investigator attempted to extract these records from Mr. Alan’s personal computer, they were removed right before his eyes. In short, Ruby is not to be underestimated.
Three days later, Rebellion investigators were stumped. There was still plenty of evidence, but none of it made sense; every piece conflicted with every other piece, pointing investigators in literally millions of directions. The more time one spent looking at the posts, the more indecipherable they became. Ruby won.
Now all film students and Rebellion journalists can do is wait. If Ruby is a past or present film student, as has been assumed, he or she (it?) will most definitely attend awards night. Whether or not Ruby Heckler is revealed is up to Ruby. But one thing is clear: the only way we will know who Ruby Heckler is by an open revelation. Deducing who Ruby is is completely, totally, and utterly impossible. Still, one must have faith: one day Ruby Heckler will be revealed. Will it be on Thursday?
