The inconvenient truth behind The Green Team (Humor)

James Elwood

  There’s been a lot of commotion this year, regarding Walpole High’s extracurricular activities. The Athletic program is the best that it has been in years, and new clubs have begun sprouting up like post-April shower May flowers. With that being said, a group of rabble-rousing recyclers have taken the school by storm.
  The Green Team has placed countless recycling bins in hallways, to take care of the plastic bottles strewn about the school and garbage cans, polluting our home and Mother Earth herself. They have planted in our heads, the thought of “reduce, reuse, recycle” or what I like to call “The three R-migos!” The Green Team causes us to think to ourselves – “Maybe I am being a wasteful nitwit.” But have you ever stopped to think about where these bottles are ending up? It’s right on their sign, posted in the Science Wing (“O’Malley’s Alley”.) It reads the following: “Did you know that every year we make enough plastic film to shrink-wrap Texas?”
  TEXAS?! Well, I’m not going to tell the Green team what they can and can not make, but isn’t that slightly wasteful on their part? Are they even using it? Where are they even making it? Plus, isn’t that hypocritical? I feel like that’s the opposite of what they should be trying to do.  Okay, but we’re agreeing that they’re going to be making this plastic film no matter what I say, but why Texas? Is this a tribute to Texas, in the sense that they want to preserve it? Or is it something they want to cover up?  Whatever the reason, I think we should support the shrink-wrapping of a state. However, starting off with Texas is a little cocky, and we might be biting off a little more that we can chew. I’d start with something more like Delaware. I understand they have some history – it is the first state, but let’s face it: they haven’t brought anything to the table in quite some time. We should shrink-wrap Delaware and preserve it until we need it. Then, and only then should we start thinking about moving on to states like Texas.
  Also, I think the green team should maybe change their name to something like, but not necessarily “the Plastic Making, State Wrapping group.” It’s just a suggestion though, they can come up with a name at their next meeting. I’m not very good at coming up with names.