You’re at work being asked if you can pick up more shifts, you’re at a restaurant being handed the wrong meal, or your mom is telling you that your green hair is far too ugly and that you must change it (I speak from personal experience). What do you do in these situations? Say yes to more shifts even though your homework load is far too high to work more? Eat a meal you did not want? Revert your hair to its original color so that your mom is not disappointed with you? Today, I am going to teach you (the reader) how to say “no” because for far too long society has taught us how to say “yes” at a minimum of 7,000 times a day. 

Our society prides us on being “yes people”: say yes to a new car, a new boyfriend, fuller lips, a larger bust, and being agreeable. It seems that most have been taught to be agreeable since our infantile years. In American society, we are taught to say yes to authoritative figures, more shifts at work and to people that fail to respect our boundaries. This is a step by step guide on how to say no because — guys and gals — it is important. 

First, say it, scream it, tattoo it onto your arm (please do not actually do this! I am just a writer for my high school newspaper). Say it to the man who disrespects your boundaries on the first date and for the love of God — if you believe in him — do not say sorry afterwards. 

Second, stop using fake niceties. Like me, you have probably wrapped these around words that may come off as negative or rude in conversation. By fake niceties, I mean saying things like “I am not comfortable with,” “Sorry, but” or “My family is having a cookout” before absolutely rejecting the hell out of someone’s request for you to say yes. While it is kinder to use these niceties before rejecting a friend’s plea to go to the mall or eat out with them, you need not use them when your boundaries are overstepped. For example, if someone forcibly kisses you — ding, ding, ding, ding, ding – you need to absolutely say “no” because they clearly do not respect your boundaries or existence as a human being (maybe call the police as well). Anyone that does not respect your boundaries does not deserve the niceties as mentioned earlier. 

Third, do not feel guilty (this is probably easy to do if you are a sociopath). Saying no does not exactly kill anyone. Did you catastrophically damage the livelihood of someone by saying no? The answer is, once again, no. 

Fourth, stop caring if you are agreeable or well-liked anymore. We are literally little ants on a huge rock in the middle of nowhere probably being watched by aliens from another universe.  Do you really care if you are well-liked by everyone? Just be kind to people and engage in relationships that foster mutual respect. Maybe meditate here and there. Okay, that’s my guide. I hope you guys liked it. Just kidding, I do not care if you guys liked it because I do not care about being liked. You get the idea.