She came. She saw. She redneckognized.

Alana Thompson, the spunky starlet of TLC’s newest hit series, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” is certainly giving Jersey Shore’s Snooki a run for her money, as the energetic fireball of a tot is clearly the new face of reality television. At just seven years old, this Toddlers and Tiaras alumna turned reality star is liable to become a household name very soon; that is, assuming her new show continues to gain popularity with each passing day as it has since its premier in August of 2012. In season 5 of TLC’s original series, “Toddlers and Tiaras,” Alana—better known as “Honey Boo Boo Child”—was an audience favorite, and her spinoff series provides viewers with an in depth look into her strange life.

However “cute” or “endearing” fans may find Honey Boo Boo, the stark reality is that Americans are—willingly— wasting not only precious time but vital brain cells watching this z-snapping, finger-shaking, head-bobbing, flab-grabbing, sass-dispensing 7 year old and her insane family eat junk food while yelling at each other in a language one must assume is some primitive form of English. Yet, for some odd reason, people (with little to no knowledge of quality television, no doubt) deem “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” a “really great show” or “ hilarious,” leaving actual critics to wonder what has happened to humanity.

Honey Boo Boo’s saucy personality and uncanny ability to come up with strange—yet thoroughly amusing—catch phrases on the spot (ex: “A dolla make me holla, Honey Boo Boo!”) have somehow captured the hearts of millions and leave viewers begging for more Boo Boo. Alana’s charm cannot take all of the credit, however; for it is the unpredictability and ongoing mystery of what her bizarre, mud-clad clan will do next that truly draws in the viewers.

Alana’s father, Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson, is the monotone and expressionless father figure who adds nothing to the show save a few unintelligible murmurs and grunts. Usually asleep on the couch during interviews, “Sugar Bear” is as riveting as the dead road kill he and his family gleefully grill up every time the local police station alerts them of a recent kill. His personality easily pales in comparison to his daughter’s dynamic disposition.

The sisters come next, starting with Anna “Chickadee” Shannon. Described lovingly by Alana as “the preagnantest,” the 17 year old just recently gave birth to a baby girl, Katelyn. Lauryn Shannon (15), known fondly as “Chubbs,” is calm, yet slightly embarrassed of her family’s rough appearance and backwards lifestyle (and rightfully so, one might add). Then comes 12 year old Jessica “Pumpkin” Shannon, easily the most careless and impolite of them all. When attending an etiquette class, the only valid point she made was that it is not “etiquettely” to pass gas at a dinner table.

The series showcases the wildly outrageous life of these self-proclaimed “Rednecks,” whether they be preparing for a pageant, concocting their famous “Go-Go Juice,” or constructing a play pen for their new piglet, “Glitzy.” In another episode on a particularly hot summer day, the family cools off at the nearest water park, only to be traumatized by Mama’s infamous mutant “Forklift Foot” (appropriately named for the accident in which it was mutilated).

As one could probably surmise, there is never a shortage of entertainment in the household— yet when it comes to the show’s instant popularity and ever increasing attention, the burning question is not how “Honey Boo Boo” caught on so fast, but why.

Why do  2 -3 million Americans tune into TLC every week to watch Honey Boo Boo’s crazy antics? What is so intriguing about this family that makes fans eagerly anticipate next week’s episode? Why did Honey Boo Boo beat the coverage of the Republican National Convention in ratings?  Well, with the help of social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, “Honey Boo Boo” is becoming something of a pop culture icon in today’s society. Politics, on the other hand, are not as popular with social media users, as the majority of them are teenagers and young adults.

“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,” TLC’s new reality series, has been described by many as watching a train wreck; you are hesitant (and a bit afraid) to look, yet you cannot seem to stop watching once you have. The concept of the show is so idiotic and pointless, it proves difficult to describe in words, yet with a show like this in which fabricating imaginary lingo is not only practiced but encouraged (ex: “redneckognize, beautimous, vagiggle-jaggle, etc), it is only fair that one tries.

That being said, here goes nothing:

Upon watching the show, one will find that “Honey Boo Boo” is ridicupid (ridiculous+stupid), and should never be telemaired (televised+aired) again.