Have you ever thought “Wow, I really wish I were Kim Kardashian!” .. Yeah, I didn’t think so. However, in case your life is so pathetic that you would do anything to have the life of a celebrity, now you can with Kim Kardashian: Hollywood!
Contrary to what most people assume, you don’t play as Kim K in this game. Instead, you create your own avatar and become BFFs with the “talented” Kim Kardashian herself. Your new friend then instructs you how to live the life of a celebrity, which entails dressing in the skimpiest clothes possible, which is difficult since the prices are extremely unrealistic. I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend $900 on a pair of shoes?!
All this tapping on the screen, between photo shoots and buying rounds of drinks for guys at bars is extremely tiring! I don’t know how Kim can do this 24/7! She wastes your time setting you up with guys and inviting you to pointless parties where you end up getting a drink thrown at you as they tell you that you “aren’t one of [them].” They ask you, “Why are you talking to us? You’re a D-Lister.” Now instead of just getting bullied in real life for playing this game, you will get bullied in this virtual world as well! How exciting! I know where I’ll be spending my pay check!
Now since you’re SO popular, you are also assigned a “manager” (considering you’ll be so busy between deciding what to wear and what boy to go on a date with). However, players started to realize that this game leaves you cursing your manager, Simon, for calling you every two minutes. “You have a new photo shoot waiting for you! Head down to GLAMM magazine to get started!” No, Simon I just finished a shoot thirty seconds ago.
If you are bored enough, you might even spend your own money on this pointless game. People all over the world have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to rise from a starting D list celebrity (loser) to a popular A lister (totally worth the $500!)! And hey, if you’re feeling unbearably lonely in your $1,800,000 mansion, you can adopt a stray cat for $50! No worries, it will all just add to your fame and make you even more popular!
Overall, you can learn some great life tips while playing this game! I’m sure Kim K can teach you how to take “literally the perfect selfie”. However, when somebody makes fun of how stupid you are to download this game, you can just think what Kim says: “When there’s so many haters and negative things, I really don’t care.” Purchasing this app will cause you to feel ALMOST as stupid as Kim for thinking this game was such a great idea. Bible.
