The Truth About Santa

When was the last time you got excited about Santa Claus coming down your chimney to stuff stockings and deliver gifts? Unfortunately, if you are in high school, it was probably several years ago. As students move through their adolescent years, their vibrant spirit surrounding Santa Claus begins to fade, and the jolly red chap that generated countless childhood memories exits the minds of teenagers who used to anxiously wait a full year for this magical figure’s return. Oftentimes, the rapid deterioration of this spirit is because of parents or siblings breaking the news that Ol’ Saint Nick “is not real” or “does not exist.” The reality is, though, that everyone has fallen victim to this ancient lie, and rightfully so; however, in the aftermath of a deep-dive into one of the world’s most notorious fibs, it is finally time to yank away the blinds and uncover the greatest truth to date: that truth that Kris Kringle does, in fact, exist.

Ultimately, what keeps Santa labeled as a myth is a practically universal refusal to accept what lies right in front of humanity’s faces, in which detractors of Santa Claus fail to acknowledge the clear evidence pointing towards his existence. On Christmas morning, when millions of children run down their stairs, they are usually greeted with gifts sitting under the tree. However, Christmas after Christmas, naive cynics point to the parents as the real gift-givers. Often, these gifts have a tag or label indicating their givers, which in the eyes of Santa-deniers, are the parents. Interestingly enough, though, these non-believers consistently seem to be unable to read the labels that blatantly state “From Santa” on the present. Given this mind-blowing fact, it is ridiculously obvious that these gifts were cautiously planted by none other than Saint Nick.

Every once in a blue moon, the common scrooge will boldly attempt to make the argument regarding how it would be impossible for Santa to deliver gifts to homes that do not have a chimney; however, what said scrooge fails to acknowledge is that there is a simple solution to this problem known as the front door. You walk through it everyday, so why would Santa not utilize it? It is almost certain that Santa does not possess a phobia of doors.

Of course, Claus needs assistance delivering presents to each and every house as doing it all by himself is impossible. For efficient transportation across the sky, Claus calls on his highly-trained fleet of reindeer, headlined by star-player Rudolph and his iconic red nose. On the night of Christmas Eve, countless children report hearing the footsteps of Claus’ very own reindeer on their rooftops. With the average male reindeer weighing around 350 to 400 pounds, the reports of these children check out. A fleet of reindeer on a roof would absolutely make a noise audible to children, further showing that the Christmas miracle is only perceived as a miracle by those who think Santa Claus is a product of one’s imagination.

If you have not found yourself convinced thus far, undeniable proof can be found through a tradition that countless families participate in each holiday season, coming in the form of an elf on the shelf. These devoted elves travel directly from the North Pole to their assigned household each year before Christmas, changing locations daily to keep the children guessing. Santa-deniers often point to the parents for changing the location of the elves, but fail to recognize clear evidence making this impossible. If the elf is touched, it will lose its magic, preventing them from carrying out their ever-so-important Christmas duties. To validate this theory, we caught up with 100 families who dared to lay a hand on the magical messenger. To nobody’s surprise, all 100 families reported that they had gotten nothing but hunks of coal and several burnt scratch tickets. 

Unfortunately, though, a large crowd takes the bait on one of the oldest marketing tricks in the books, leaving them with no choice but to lose all faith in Kris Kringle. Around Christmastime, thousands of corporations foolishly place a “Santa” in the center of the mall in order to garner the attention of children and parents alike. What takes place after is nothing short of a disgrace. Children wander up to this pretender, sit in their lap and whisper meaningless requests for presents into a stranger’s ear that gift them with nothing more than disappointment. This disaster of a transaction inputs great doubt into countless people’s minds about Claus and gives greedy commercial businesses unprecedented profits.

While it may seem easy to give up on a figure so dismissed by the general population, it is imperative that people open their eyes to the facts. Look at the labels pasted on presents that exclaim the truth. Look toward the vanishing of the milk and cookies that were so generously offered the night before. Listen to the thousands of children who have seen the magical truth of the reindeer, and the devastating truth of the coal and several burnt scratch tickets. Look not at the deceiving “mall Santa” as a way to request gifts, but at the classic, everlasting Christmas list. In the end, even when there can be millions in the dark standing against you, you can be the light shining the truth for those who stand with you.